we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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