also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize