I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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