I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize