After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I lost the right to judge tonight
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