2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
