Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
