Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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