why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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