You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if i died would you start the facebook group?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
