had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize