matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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