You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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