It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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