Already got asked if we're dating
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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