We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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