I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
