lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
