He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
