I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
