I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
