My cat gives me a boner
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
