I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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