Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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