She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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