Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize