This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
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