hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
and you fell through a lawn chair
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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