i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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