i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
