Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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