Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize