small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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