Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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