I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
