I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
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He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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