I think i peed on brittanys purse
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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