My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
