There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize