I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We have so much sex to catch up on
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
