We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
