ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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