Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
