her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
