I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
