Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so explain again why im purple
no
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
