Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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