They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you will always have a special place in my vag
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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