Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
