I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
