I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
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80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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