Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
