I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
