textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize