Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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